Welcome to your life. There's no turning back.

 It's such a strange thing realising that you aren't normal.

So much of my school life was spent either being praised or lectured.  Praised because the subjects I enjoyed - English, history, anything to do with animals - came to me so easily, while I would struggle with (assuming I didn't just outright fail them) any subject that didn't catch my interest.  One semester in CEGEP I received 90s in English, archaeology and classics...and a 27 in math.  I spent so many hours sitting at my desk, or at the kitchen table being told that I was an intelligent child, I could do these things, I just wasn't trying hard enough.

My report cards would be consistently full of comments like "doesn't apply herself" or "often makes careless errors" or "inattentive in class".  My teachers echoed my parents' words; I could do all of this.  I was just deciding not to.

So I would decide to do it.  I would sit down in class, my pencils sharpened, my notebook open, determined that I was going to change.  This time I would pay attention.  This time I would take copious notes.  This time I would pay attention.

And the next thing I knew, the bell was ringing, class was finished, I hadn't taken a single note, and I had no recollection of the time passing.  

I thought that everyone dealt with this.  I thought every kid, every student in my class had the same issue.  But for some reason, everyone but me could overcome them.  But everyone didn't have the same issue.  Everyone didn't have to overcome this obstacle.  I thought I was trying to get over the same hurdle everyone else had sailed over, only to find out the problem wasn't the hurdle, it was that my legs were tied.  

And being told constantly that I was intelligent, I was gifted, I was extraordinary...that was one of the things that kept me from seeing just how disabled I was.

Maybe it's not about realising that I'm not normal.  Maybe it's about realising that I'm just not extraordinary.  I'm not sure which is worse.