So what do we do with our lives?

 I guess one of the hardest things about all of this is that I don't know what all this means for my future.

I'm going to be forty years old in three months.  Most women my age have a career, savings, a list of accomplishments.  What do I have?  

The last serious job I had was almost twelve years ago.  Everything else was temporary, or I was fired, frequently because my ADHD made shit unmanageable.  What savings I had were spent in the resulting periods of unemployment and depression.  I've sold a few short stories, managed a web page, but otherwise I have very little to my name.  And it's getting to the point in my life that it's getting harder for me to achieve or obtain those things.  Even if I got a perfect amazing career now, will I have enough time to save money for our retirement?  It's entirely possible my husband will never be able to work again.  Can I support us both, in that case?  

We are primarily living off benefits and the goodwill of our families.  This is not the vision that I had of my adulthood independence.  

I'm not sure that I'm capable of working a full time job anymore.  And the jobs that I seem to be capable of doing are so simple and low-end that they pay very little.  I have so little tolerance for any sort of pressure...even the jobs that I trained for seem terrifying to me now.  

I don't know what I want anymore.  And maybe that's a good thing, because I don't know that I'm capable of getting it.